Sunday, 30 September 2012

September draws to a close

Well what a monumental month September has been. we have traveled to India, met many great new friends from all parts of the world, seen some amazing places and last of all discovered that a family is within our reach.We have a long road left to travel to fully realize our dream of becoming a family but we are certainly on the right road.

Well when we returned from Delhi we spent a week slowly getting back into the swing of normal work life and trying to maintain our excitement about the journey we had just started. We have really thrown ourselves into our work as a good distraction to the waiting game. So now we have 19 days until FET, i sure am going to have to work hard to distract myself over the next month. I have a feeling October will be a month of great things. We start to get very busy with work from now on and we are looking forward to that. Day light savings will start soon and that means more daylight hours. and warmer weather will mean more fun outside.

Thursday, 27 September 2012

Take 2

Ok so weare all set for 3 weeks. This time 2 surrogates so now we just wait. We got the best news that our I D friends from Australia are pregnant x2 and we could not be happier for them. I even have a sneaky suspicion they may have 3 baby's in 9 months time. They have tried patiently and are finally have the ball rolling once again.

Well it's been work work work the past couple of weeks and I am guessing it will be the same for the next 5. We have to wait for the FET and then another 2ww. We shared our news with a few close friends and family (not this blog however) and it is great to have their support, however the down side is that supportive friends can sometimes be a little too supportive ans tend to want to jump the gun so to speak. I'm not a big "centre of attention" person. I'd much rather sit n the side lines, so the constant calls and messages at every step of the process was hard work for me. Especially when the result was a bfn. Everyone knew what date we would would find out and they would call and SMS wanting to know. I think after we knew that the result was bfn we just wanted to try again. We didn't want to dwell or "linger in the darkness" as our Canadian friend would say.... And each time a Friend would call and ask they would become all empathetic / sympathetic. I'm the type of person that needs to stay positive. Tim and I had set a plan in place and the advice and information provided by meg and margarida helped us do that. We knew what we could afford financially ans emotionally and we set our plan towards that. We were also realistic that there is no guarantee for the first time so we were also planned for that.

So for us, now we wait.

Thanks for reading and following our exciting journey.


Chris and Tim 

Monday, 24 September 2012

From a weak coffee, to an empty pot of tea!!

Well you know the roller coaster of emotion experienced is far greater than I had ever imagined. I'm not upset, I think we were fairly realistic with the odds on a first attempt. Let me just say that it was soooooooooo very nice that dr Shivani actually called to break the negative news. I think that means more to us than anything else. Dr Shivani said we could try again in 3 weeks, woooohooooo I can't wait. This time we will try with 2 surrogates. Why? Well we were going to try with 2 surrogates first try but for some reason only tried one.

So the positive to come from this negative is that our Aussie and Canadian friends who also had a bfn so we all get to start the process over and finger toes arms legs and everything else crossed we will return to Delhi at the same time in approx 9 months and 3 weeks.

Anyhow today is the day the I D boys receive their good news, now if I were a betting man and based on the statistics they are surely guaranteed the biggest of bfp's! And if ever anyone deserved this it is the I D boys. Guys if you reading this I am writing this at 2 am and I'm sure you both are wide awake as well. Anticipation for great things is keeping me up.

So what's been happening in good old Melbourne town??? Well work has been busy busy, Tim's business is still experiencing growth and new ground. His determination and approach to work has changed dramatically since starting this journey as his business is the one we want to focus on Longterm (it is the most family friendly). My business on the other hand is 24 hours 7 days a week 365 days a year. We have worked Christmas, boxing and New Years days for the last 9 years, not something we want to be doing long term with a family. Only downside is my business is the one that pays the bills and has provided the opportunity for surrogacy.

We have met so many Great people on this journey so far it is almost overwhelming. It is fantastic to know that we are not alone on this emotion journey. So to all in blog land and to all our new friends thank you for your support and encouragement, you all make the difference.

Thanks for following our journey


Chris and Tim 

Saturday, 22 September 2012

Weak Positive

Well the 2ww ended yesterday. What a very strange 2 weeks it was, I don't know if it was trying to return to routine after being over in India? If it was the flights? If it was the anticipation or excitement about this next chapter in our lives. We certainly had without a doubt one of the greatest experiences in India, it is something that we will remember for ever. I think that was the people that we met that really made it so great for us. We wish that the feeling we felt in India sharing a new journey with our new friends would never end. Thank you to all those that we met there.

Anyhow our weak positive. We received an email from Sci right on schedule last night. I was driving along the freeway having just left work (where i was sitting mindlessly in front of my computer) waiting for this email, I heard the chime indicating an email received knowing full well that I don't receive emails at night as the normal, it would be it. So I grabbed my phone and opened the email to see that it was from Sci.......... Then I couldn't look at it until I stopped the car which I did on the side if the road,

Dear Chris,
We hope you are doing fine.
We would like to inform you that as per our schedule we have done pregnancy test for "R"
Please find the attached report for the same.
We would like to inform you that Rajni's beta HCG value is 9.82 which is weak positive.
In view of the same, we will repeat her beta HCG test within 48 hours.
As soon as we receive the report, we will let you know immediately.

We wish you all the best for her repeated pregnancy test.

Ok so I love the word positivity and all derivatives of such. So I'm happy/confused buy the 9.82 number???? Still reminding myself that the word positive is still there. Yay indeed.

I had literally just finished blog stalking and has read of another IP's experience with the 2ww or as it could be called the 4ww?? Ok positive is that they had a weak positive to start ans now seem well into a healthy pregnancy. Yay. Oh BUT (imagine me on side of busy freeway trying to search and read blogs and google from tiny iPhone with poor Internet connectivity) ah hahahahahaha back to the BUTT their weak positive was a much higher number. In the 40.0 if I'm correct. So I'm thinking to myself if 40 is a weak positive, then maybe 9 isn't so great. (If anyone reading had experienced this please give me some feedback)

Anyhow weak positive strong positive weak coffee strong coffee, positive is positive and we will be positive and thankful to the Sci team and our surrogate, as this experience has really been an experience of happiness for us both everything will remain crossed for the next test in a couple of days.

We were so very lucky and met some really great guys yesterday here in Melbourne. Initially before starting this process  I was concerned what people might think about what we are doing because of our seemingly young age (well that is one of the few negative remarks we received on our journey to becoming dads and wanting to grow into a family) we are 25 and 32. But this fantastic couple are exactly 6 years our junior at 26 and 19. Sounds young???? Well it is!! But meeting these 2 you would never pick their age. Both very mature and really great friendly guys. It is the first time in a long time I can really look at someone and have respect for them and what they are striving to achieve at their age. I only wish I had the confidence and maturity they have when I was their age. 

Our new Canadian friend was due to receive his results same time as us. Unfortunately his was a bfn. On the positive side he has more attempts with FET. I know he will be successful (just hurry up with that FET we have those rooms booked for mid next year...... Hahahahaha.)

We also met 2 Aussie couples starting the process while in Delhi. They have all become our little network of support. There is the awesome shopper and her wonderful "fizzy bubbly" hubby. Beautiful people without a doubt, and then there is the "I D" boys from a country land with limited Internet access. These boys are a true inspiration of strength and determination. Positivity and perseverance are words that I think they have secretly tattooed on them somewhere. You know we promised these fantastic group of people we would keep them up to date with our progress and the support in return is truly amazing. The I D boys had called me within minutes of receiving my Email of the weak positive and asking for their expertise and feedback, and for that I'm very thankful. And thank you to both our Aussie and Canadian friends for your help to understand this journey. 

Well it is Sunday morning here in Melbourne (four seasons in one day) I need to get up and mow the lawns before it turns from the spring sun into the winter rain if the day.

Thanks for reading and thank you to all whose blogs I continually stalk. 


Chris and Tim 

Friday, 14 September 2012

1 week down, 1 week to go

Well today is the half way point of the 2ww. Over the past few months reading others blogs and forum posts about the 2ww, I never really though about how we would feel or how we would deal with the wait. Generally we are both very patient people, we don't procrastinate, rarely have regrets, almost never look back on the past and wish things were don differently and this is really no exception. This last week has been easy easy, those that know of our journey (that haven't been through it) ask "are you excited? Nervous? Happy?" and our response is well yes but we have tried to not "count the chickens before they hatch" so to speak. But I think at this point for me I am now really starting to get excited, for those that have been through the same thing, this is a feeling inside that I have never felt before. But for us and our typical male coping mechanisms "positivity and reality" needs to keep us grounded.

We started the search / investigation on options to grow our lives into a family about 3 years ago. But for the most part never Imagined surrogacy within our reach and therefore never looked into it. It was only June 2012 when we (moreso Tim) made the decision that surrogacy is what we think is the right thing, ha ha easy for Tim to make that choice, I manage all our finances and juggle the dollars and cents) in saying that I think once we both made the choice for surrogacy my considerations for how we would afford it went out the window. For the first time in 7.5 years we both felt the same and really wanted this more than anything, (it really showed me the love we have between us and also the love we have to give) is past 3 months we have started setting aside money and using the credit cards for flights accom etc, and I don't care. You can't take money with you when in the end it is about making the most of the life and opportunities that are presented to you.

So we have only told our parents, my sister and about 4 close friends of our exciting journey. A friend asked me when am I going to tell everyone else, well the one advantage we have over traditional processes is that when we are lucky enough to be pregnant neither one of us will show. Haha (well Tim likes fast food too much and spends a lot of time on the road so he may well imitate a pregnancy) ha ha ha. Back to the question of when to tell everyone else? Well my answer was that I'm not!! Going to make a public announcement. People close to us we will tell but for the vast majority or acquaintances there is no need to tell them. I don't and have never introduced myself to people as "hi I'm Chris, and I am gay" infact I can maybe count on 1 hand the number of times I have actually had to say those words to someone. Usually it is if a female friend has shown interest without catching on to the truth (easily done as we present as 2 everyday blokes, most people including the recent Singapore airline cabin crew, thought we were brothers. We get the brothers thing all the time. And on 1 completely crazy occasion, I was asked if Tim was my son...... Shit no, I would have had to have been a 7 yo at the time of his birth, the. I was thinking how bloody old do I look at 32?? Ha ha)
Anyhow back to the question "no" we are not going to tell people of our journey. We run 2 business' and employ nearly 20 people in one location (our main office) and a close friend asked "are you just going to come In to the office with a baby(s) when the time comes????" well yes just like any other acquaintance or stranger we will be like any other family. In saying that we would not lie if the question was asked, but I think for the vast majority we don't need to "go public" with our dreams.

We were intially concerned about the response we would get from our parents and family when we told them. And we were very surprised how excited they were for us. Infact the support doesn't and didn't stop there. Mum and dad and my sister as well as Tim's mum, constantly want to know what's next? When do we hear anything? It really is great to feel that support around us. Anyone reading this, who is concerned about the reaction people will have all I will say is that those that love us care about us and support us 100%. At the end of the day life is about happiness.

Thanks for following our journey.


Chris and Tim 

Monday, 10 September 2012

Back into the routine

Well we are home now and straight back into the busy routine of work work work work. It is great to be home and in our own bed. Peaceful travel in the car with no car horns blasting continuously. It is nice. What did i discover about this very different and interesting country called India? Everyone in India seems fairly content / happy. unlike home where everyone is in a rush and being abusive because the line in the petrol station or bank is not moving fast enough. unlike home were everyone is speeding and driving with pure aggression, unlike home where many people are miserable and negative. The people of India genuinely seem content/happy. Really how are they so happy and content as they appear to be.

We have been home for 2 days, had very little sleep (not sure if this is the excitement of the 2ww?) im sure we are going to crash and burn soon. We imagined the world ending around us with our 2 business' while we are gone, but no! they survived, however as soon as you return every thing becomes a problem you must solve.. (back on a plane to India if i had my choice)

We met some very wonderful people in Delhi, who we can share this journey with, each and everyone with a great story about their life and an instant friendship. I really hope we can all meet again in Delhi in 9 months time.... Thank you! to you all who made our "holiday with a twist" so memorable.

Thanks for following our blog.


Chris and Tim

Saturday, 8 September 2012

Last day in Delhi

Hello to all our friends in blog land.

Well today is our last day in Delhi. We are scheduled to fly out tonight at 1145pm Delhi time bound for singapore (5hour flight). We will have a quick stop in Singapore for 2.5 hours (probably just enough time to make the huge journey to the other terminal) for the 7 hour flight to Melbourne. I'm not a comfortable flyer being about 6"3' give or take a shoe, and the throught of 2 consecutive flights for me is painful, but this is what we must do to achieve our dream. I have asked Tim to schedule enough time in Singapore for a full day stop over so we can shower and rest before taking another flight. Yeah yeah yeah I hear you all thinking that a 5 plus 7 hour flight is nothing, but for me it's something about the take off and landing that really drains me.

So as per usual I woke this morning at the usual 6am Delhi time. (I'm convinced my body just knows what time zone I'm in and naturally sets the 6am alarm call) watched some tv and relaxed. I convinced my "not really a morning person" partner to get his lazy bum out of bed and come to breakfast with me, and he should know by now I'm grumpy without breakfast. So we headed down to the lounge. The wonderful waiters know us know and bring a pot of tea, order the poached eggs (medium) with white toast, and even make a little more effort and put some sides from the buffet on the plate. Seriously us Aussies could take a leaf out of the Indian customer service book for sure. Us Aussies are rude and inconsiderate when it comes to customer service. Let me tell you I own a business in the FMCG industry and we serve 2000 customers a day. Our goal is to serve them and have them on their way in less than 45 seconds, as we are all time poor and in a rush. I will certainly be focussing more on the level of service and customer satisfaction when I return. Just as an example we had lunch with our friends "Australia 1" yesterday at the pizza hut in M block, we had a waiter assigned to our table and he took the orders and served the food, now let me focus on the "served the food" part. Not only does he bring the food he actually goes to the trouble to serve the pizza slice by slice onto the plate.... And it's not just pizza hut. The Italian restaurant we had dinner toast night did the same thing with the salad. FANTASTIC..... Not only that we were having trouble deciding on what beer we wanted so the other waiters comes to the table with 1 of each of the beers they have to offer for us to choose. I mean this is service over and above.. And these people get paid very poorly compared to Australian workers. I have really developed an appreciation for how great a country we really live in.

Delhi has really been a wonderful place to visit. For the inexperienced traveller like we are it is really a great place. I could even see myself living in this country (and that is a big statement for me) but in all honesty we have stayed in a beautiful hotel and spent time in western style shopping centre.

Today is the day that the transfer happens. So this is a fairly significant day indeed. I'm not sure what is the next communication we receive from SCI but I'm guessing it will be a embryo transfer report?? So we patiently wait.

Ok so we sent an SMS to some more new Aussie friends I and D from a nice quiet country side part of Australia, very much an inspirational couple of guys who have experienced more about the process than most, not to mention the length of their commitment to one another is really an inspiration that 2 people can share a happy life together. Anyhow we caught up with the guys for a coffee and chat. We spent a few hours chatting and wandering around he select city walk ans dlf shopping malls. Tim and I also had our first macaroons...... Mmmmmmmmm delicious I just want more. It was nice to spend some relaxing time wandering about and chatting with new friends before having to board our flight to Melbourne tonight.

Well it's time to start the packing and organize ourselves to head off to the airport.

Thanks For taking the time to follow our journey

Xoxo Chris and Tim

Friday, 7 September 2012

A nice email to complete a nice second last day in Delhi

What a great email to come back to after a great day out exploring the sites of Delhi with the awesome Rahul himself at the wheel.....

Dear Chris, 

Greetings from SCI Healthcare..!!

Further to the below email, we would like to mention that out of 23 eggs, 19 eggs have been matured and you have 18 embryos now.  

Please note that we will do the embryo transfer tomorrow and update you with the result as soon as possible. 

Ok so this is all getting exciting now. And to think only 3 months ago I never would have though we would have been here.


Delhi day 8. Today was a whirlwind day. Up early at 6 am to get ready for breakfast with our new Canadian friend at 7am, then ready to leave for the taj at 8am. A quick stop off to pick up Our other new friends "australia 1" from india luxury homes and we were on our way. The car journey to the taj mahal was totally an experience in itself. Over 3 hours sitting in this tiny Toyota van. It had air con which was certainly a prerequisite. Once he sound of car horns beeping had all but gone we were on a massive 3 lane freeway, ALONE! Seriously there were next to no cars using this road, apart from the odd car that was traveling at about 180kmh. Loooooong Boring straight road.

We arrived in Agra and were greeted by a tour guide who pushed his way into the van. Hahahahaha next to Tim. This bloke had mega amounts of hair growing from his ears so we subtly stopped referring to him via his real name "jac" and renamed him "alf" (for those that remember from the tv show). Alf seemed nice enough and genuine so we went with the flow. He gave us advice not to talk to or shop at any of the shops along the road and to not even look at people if they spoke to us??? We trusted he had our best interests in mind. He was adamant that when he speak we stop taking photos and be quiet?? Wtf were we back in school?? But we all still went along. The taj mahal was really a fabulous place to visit, we highly recommend a visit. Alf (mr tour guide) then took us to a shop that sold all sorts of over priced things and we spent $310.00 on gifts. (all part of the experience). Only thing to note is that we would have preferred to visit without the guide, I don't think you really need him.

So back in Rahul's little Toyota van the 5 of us "crammed" and off we went for our long journey back to Delhi. On the way back our Canadian friend had to pop by SCI as his surrogate had changed and therefore so did his contract. So after a quick detour there we headed backs to the svelte to get ready and head out to the spice market for dinner.

Wednesday, 5 September 2012

Very happy with this result

Well today has been such a fun filled day with a great result to top it off. See below

Dear Chris, 

Greetings from SCI Healthcare..!!!

We hope you are doing fine.

We request you to please note that your donor's egg collection has been done.

We are happy to inform that 23 eggs have been collected.

We will keep you updated with further progress.

WOW I think this is good??? 

So today was the last of 3 "deposits" and the fresh transfer was today, so as far as we can contribute we have. Fingers, toes, arms, and legs all crossed from this point. 

Went to m block market with our friends Australia 1 and Canada today and got the nieces some nice pieces of jewelry. And tonight heading out for dinner somewhere with the guys. 

Anyhow that is all for now I just had to share that piece of exciting news. 


Chris and Tim 

Tuesday, 4 September 2012

Delhi day 6

Hello to everyone in blog land.

Well here we are day 6 in Delhi, another fantastic nights rest I slept very well, woke at 7am and headed to breakfast alone as Tim wanted to sleep in. So I went down to the dining room and met our new friend from Canada. Breakfast is a lot of fun we usually sit there for at least and hour or 2 talking and discussing the exciting times ahead.

Well today is the day for egg retrieval from our lovely donor...... Not really sure how we are meant to feel but we are SUPER excited. I feel like I need to wake up from a dream, this is really happening. It is quite funny really we have met another couple from Australia who are here starting the journey as is our new friend from Canada. All of us with VERY different backgrounds and stories. Anyhow! Funny story. One by one we have been and are scheduled to provide our "deposit" in half hour blocks. Hahahahaha on Monday I was first followed by the other 2, hahahahahahah tables have turned for today "deposit" I think the order is Canada first followed by Australia 1 and then us last. All as I can say is please keep it clean boys... Hhahahahahaha! Oh if anyone can please tell me how to clear the Internet history in Mozilla browser???? For thos that may be lost the boys contribution in this journey is done in a very respectful private room that is very clean and modest. There is a plasma on the wall with DVD player that I can not operate??? Not to mention it most likely does not contain my preference of visual material. There is also a laptop that you can use to surf the net. For my first "deposit" had no Internet connection so it was a case of performing by imagination. Hahahahaha second "deposit" there was Internet connection but no way of clearing the history (that I knew of). So for today let's hope there still is a connection. Anyhow more about these half hour blocks if your  ask Tim he will tell you I was in there less than 5 minutes for my contribution, hahaha really Its about the outcome not the length of time. Hhahahaha. For anyone not going through this process it may seem weird that we are blogging in this detail, but of all the people we have met it is quite accepting to discuss openly. For those planning this journey, don't stress like we did. It really isnt all too bad, getting the semen analasys back in Australia was a much more embarrassing process.

We had the results of our semen analasys from the deposits made here and there is a little difference between that and the report from home. SCI is happy and said there is nothing to worry about.

Ok so the power has gone out at home in Melbourne, so we will be spending the next 2 hours via team viewer and on face time trying to restore our office servers, computers and phone system. Not to mention our Melbourne customers who will have to provide remote support from 10000km away. Yay for us. Well that is Tim's forte so yay for Tim. In the meantime I will sit here and blog while watching him crack the shits at our techs at home not understanding his commands. Hahahahahahah I think mr Tim will need to invest some more Tim i. Training his techs how he wants things done in the event of these occurrences.

Anyhow back to our Indian adventure. Last night we had a nice dinner at the spaghetti restaurant in select city walk with our Canadian friend. Very nice atmosphere and nice food. Good service, I think we over tipped them Hahahahaha when the waiter picked up the bill with the money inside he brought back the change which was about 250 inr. We just left it in there then he came back to take it away took 3 steps from the table and them came back and put it back on the table. Hahaaha it was only 10% of the total bill but maybe that was too much.

This afternoon after our 1.30pm "appointment" we are done. The rest will be in the hands of the wonderful dr Shivani and her great team of people. We have organized to meet with Canada and australia 1 to go and adventure around he m block markets that we have heard about. I'm very much looking forward to that.

Anyhow enough for now. Stay tuned and I will try to convey as much information for those following us on this journey.

Xoxoxo Chris and Tim

Monday, 3 September 2012

Delhi day 5

Ok so here we are day 5 in Delhi, today we plan on exploring Delhi with some new friends. We met with SCI yesterday to complete some formalities. (building the house was more comlplex) everything is in basic language that is clear and understandable. We then met the surrogate........ the feeling was a little awkward as im not good with meeting people for the first time let alone this wonderful person who is willing to give us the gift of a lifetime.

We were very concerned about spending time in Delhi and how we would cope. but as each day goes by we really like it more and more. We are still "going against the flow" so to speak by wearing shorts and t-short everywhere, seriously we are the only 2 males walking around this place with shorts on. We get a few funny looks but that may be just the fact i am 6"3 tall.

Svelte is a fantastic location and place to stay. Ok its not cheap but the service and quality is really second to none. We have a internet connection via a plug in the room which basically allowed only the laptop to connect to. so we called the front desk and requested a router (after a tip of from a friend) and they right away came and installed a wireless router so that we could connect our i-pad and i phones as well as our laptops. this is very handy for using free face time calls to family and friends.

Well thats all for now, off to breakfast we go.


Chris and Tim

Sunday, 2 September 2012

Delhi day 4

Well it's day 4 for us in Delhi. If ever I was nervous or worried about this process or being so far from home, I'm not now. So many new friends from all over the world including Australia. I haven't had to think this hard about a social schedule since high school. It is very reassuring to know that there are people in the exact same position as we are, who understand and can share the experience.

I have to keep this short as housekeeping is wanting to come and make up the room, today we are having coffee with some new friends before heading to the SCI for a meeting or two. Then tonight hopefully dinner with some other IP's who are starting the process also.

Short and sweet but I will post again tonight.

Xoxo Chris and Tim

Saturday, 1 September 2012

Delhi day 2

Well it's day 2 in India. Today we are going to meet dr Shivani and the SCI team. This morning we woke up from a fantastic sleep in an amazing bed. During breakfast meet another couple from Australia that are here to pick up their baby boy. It was nice to meet them and chat with them about their experience and how happy they are at the arrival of their son. It is so nice to know that there are so many IP's all of whom have tried so hard to achieve the dream so many take for granted. Apparently the hotel is half filled with IP's and new baby's. Not hard to understand why as this is really a great place in a great location.

Anyhow this will have to be a short post for now as it is almost time to leave to meet dr Shivani..

I am still learning "blogging" and haven't quite figured how to post pictures yet, so stay tuned and hopefully I will get some up soon.

Xoxo Chris and Tim